Courtly Love

            In the courtly love tradition, a man generally expresses his admiration for an idealized noblewoman whose unattainability—either due to her marriage or her rejection of the man—causes the man to suffer. The man typically places himself in a subordinate role relative to his beloved, showing that it is the woman who controls the potential progression of the relationship.

            The distance between the lover and the beloved in courtly love is exemplified in “A Love Afar” by Jaufre Rudel. Throughout this poem, the man repeatedly refers to his “love afar”, and makes it clear that he does not have the power to bridge the separation between them on his own. As he says, “If she’d consent, I’d lodge nearby / Who now must lie alone afar.” This shows both that there is distance between the man and the woman he admires, and that she is in a position of relative control in the situation, as she could apparently eliminate this separation “if she’d consent”. It is also evident that the object of his affection is an entirely idealized figure, as he admits they have not met—he says, “Leaving her must seem sad and sweet / When once I’ve met my love afar.” This indicates that he has not even met this woman, and is thus infatuated with a romanticized figure.

            “You’ve Asked, My Lords, for Song” by Bernart de Ventadorn shows the agony that such distance between the lover and the beloved can cause for the man, as this poem also expresses admiration for a woman whom he cannot be with. This separation has left him so “heartsore” that he no longer has interest in singing his verses. He says rather than give up on this love altogether, he will suffer in the hope that they will eventually be together. He describes his love as a gift from God, and says that when this gift abates, “[He’ll] suffer that as much.” This poem, too, shows that the man is in a submissive role compared to the woman of his affection, as he says he is “yielding [himself] to [her]” as one would yield to God in prayer. Again, the woman is an idealized figure, as the man places her on the level of God.

            This idealization of the beloved is seen perhaps most clearly in Bernart de Born’s “Lady, Since You Care Nothing for Me”. In this poem, the man discusses how he would form his ideal woman by composing her of parts of other women. He values characteristics such as a woman’s color, her eyes, her manner of speaking, attractive hands and throat, beautiful hair, and so forth. Despite this apparently perfect imaginary woman, the man still says he would choose his beloved over this figure, showing that he holds his beloved to this idealized standard. As he says after describing the “phantom” woman, “And yet I’d rather / Ask of you than hold another, / Mayhap, right close and kissed.” This shows that he still prefers his beloved even over a woman composed of perfect features, suggesting that he considers her ideal on her own.