defining courtly love

Fin amor or courtly love is refined love. A feudal distance between the lover and the beloved and a seamless weaving of erotic desire with the divine typifies fin amor. Three poems that show these traits of courtly love are “When the Sweet Air Goes Bitter” by Cercamon, “A love Afar” by Jaufre Rudel and “When the Tender Grass and Leaves Appear” by Bernart de Ventadorn.

Feudal distance:

In each of the poems the lover addresses their beloved as far away. Commonly in fin amor the lover is of a lower social class than the lady they are addressing; she may be the wife of a noble. Nonetheless the poet pines after her. In Cercamon’s poem he shows his distance from the beloved in the lines, “Wanting only what / No man can get or has got” (37). He laments that he cannot attain love or his beloved. He is distanced form her and her higher perfection which he describes as “ a glitter of the sun” (37). In the poem “A love Afar”, as the title would suggest, the lover is yearning for his distant unattainable lover. He says,

                        That man speaks true who’d say I burn

                        For naught else but my love afar

                        Now for no other end I yearn-

                        Only to know my love afar. (65)

He does not know when he will meet his lover (63), but he longs to know her. The repetition of the phrase, “my love afar” reinforces how distant his love his. Also, the repetition shows the lovers commitment to the lady. He places his desire to know her above all else. By describing her as a “shrine” he shows his lowly status in comparison to her. Lastly in Ventadorn’s poem he writes that she, “Treats [him] with honor and grace when she deigns” (79). This passage shows the elevated position of the beloved. She has a powerful role in the relationship because love is given as she chooses. The distance between the lover and the beloved is felt in the distance of their social class positions. Fin amor often was between a noble married lady and the poet or bard. Thus the lady is addressed as unattainable and elevated beyond the poet’s reach.

Combination of the Divine and the Erotic:

Fin amor is a refined love. As such the erotic elements of love are tempered by the religious rhetoric that accompanies it. For example, Cercamon writes, “God give me life, and let my course run / ‘Till I have her I love / to lie with and prove” (37). Cercamon appeals to God to help him attain his beloved for he wishes to lie with her.  As we talked about in class, “lie with” might be a sexual experience, but it also might be a reference to restrained contact. His desire is evident however. God is connected to desire when Cercamon invokes God to help him win his lover. Rudel similarly invokes God saying, “Dear Lord who formed this world entire / And shaped for me my love afar, / Pray grant me the power I most desire:” (65). Rudel asks God to help him gain his desires, which he describes as “dark desires” earlier in the poem (63). Rudel trusts his meeting with his lover to God, thus connecting the divine and the erotic. Finally, Ventadorn writes,

                        If I could find her alone,

                        Sleeping or playing so for fun,

                        I’d steal the sweetest kiss I’ve known –

                        I lack the worth to ask for one.

                        Lady, by God, our love’s getting nowhere. (81)

His exclamatory cry to God shows his frustration with his separation from his lady. He describes his desire for her in the first 4 lines, then conveys his frustration with his separation. This passage differs from the previous two, but still invokes God when the lover is desirous of his beloved. The restraint that religion and divinity brings to erotic desire helps communicate the refined love of fin amor.