Catullus and Lesbia

Catullus and Lesbia have a very complicated and unbalanced relationship. Their relationship starts off as an affair, with Lesbia cheating on her husband with Catullus. Although their relationship is only seen through Catullus’ perspective, it seems as though Lesbia has the upperhand in their relationship. Catullus is stable whereas Lesbia is very unstable. Their relationship can be characterized through poems 5, 58 A, and 75.

            Catullus and Lesbia’s relationship starts off as an affair and Catullus doesn't seem to mind this as in poem 5 he says, “Let’s live, Lesbia mine, and love-and as for scandal, all the gossip, old men’s strictures, value the lot at no more than a farthing!” He does not mind the rumors and talk that may go around about their affair because his love for her is too strong. It seems as if though Catullus is trying to get Lesbia to acknowledge that he is the only man for her, the only one she truly loves. He commands Lesbia to “Give me a thousand kisses, then a hundred, then a thousand more” as a representation of the kind of reputation that they have. He loves her despite of what people may say about them. He wants to prove their endless love and to denounce the superstition that if one were to know how many kisses a couple has had, one could curse them. By having a thousand and more kisses, people would never be able to keep track and therefore prevent them from “cursing” their relationship.

Through his poems of Lesbia, his manliness seems to be in question as she takes away his masculinity. She holds the upper hand in the relationship as she can sleep with whomever she wants but at the end of the day, Lesbia is the only one Catullus wants in his life. In poem 58 A, Catullus allows Lesbia to overtake him as “Lesbia whom alone Catullus worshipped more than himself, far more than all his kinsfolk”. The fact that Lesbia sleeps around with whoever she wants yet Catullus is still in love with her makes it seem as if he is in a delusion, that she has her finger wrapped around him, being the dominant figure in the relationship.

As their relationship progresses, Catullus begins to recognize the faults in their relationship in poem 75. He recognizes that his “mind has been brought so low by your conduct, Lesbia”, referring to her sleeping around. However, despite knowing her actions, he is so hypnotized by her love that even if she “were perfect it couldn’t like you” but at the same time it can’t “cease to love you”. He is torn between knowing what is right and what he wants to believe. He is so in love with her that there is no convincing himself otherwise. She has total control over him and he becomes weak.