Catullus and Lesbia

Catullus' poems records the different stages, ups and downs, of his romantic relationship with Lesbia(or Claudia), who comes from an influential political family and who has been involved with many men. Despite Lesbia's many lovers, Catullus loves her uncontrollably. We are able to see his fall for Lesbia in Catullus 5. However, as the relationship turns worse, the poet displayed more complicated layers of emotions, which are present in Catullus 8 and Catullus 11.

Catullus 5 captures the sweetest and most passionate stage of the relationship. In lines 1-3, Catullus expresses his dismiss and disdain of "scandal, all the gossip, and old men's strictures". Since Lesbia is essentially equivalent to, if not more than, a celebrity in today's sense, her relationship with different men are naturally to be criticized by the public. But Catullus "value the lot at no more than a farthing", not minding at all since he indulges himself in the love with Lesbia at the moment.Why care so much?
Life is short! In the next three lines(4-6), he talks about the ephemeral nature of human life, the reason why he should enjoy the present as "once our brief life's quenched, there's only one unending night that's left to sleep through".
The following lines of the many kisses both show the poet's endless love to Lesbia, as well as serve the practical use to work against the superstition, where if enemies know the exact amount of one's secret, they can curse them through with key of knowledge. The countless number of kisses would never been known, and thus preventing anyone to scrutinize and penalize the couple.

In Catullus 8, Lesbia has "said No", and Catallus decides to move on too. He uses a second-person perspective, "you", to address himself from line 1-13, telling himself to "stop this stupid tomfool stuff", although they had a good time together, when "every day for you the sun shone bright" . The second-person perspective reflects the actual difficulty for him to make up his mind, that he has to stand away and convince himself to do the right thing.
"Now she's said No, so you too, feeble wretch, say No". Catallus wants to be sensible and strong by saying no too, but meanwhile the Catullus he is talking to is so weak from love, that he has to scold him as a "feeble wretch" and order him to be tough.
The perspective shifts again in line 12. "Now Catullus will hang tough, won't ask, 'Where is she' won't, since you've said No". He turns to address Lesbia directly and refers to himself in a third-person perspective. Using third-person perspective allows the poet from his lover identity, and so he will could be detached from the loving emotions when he talk to Lesbia.
In the following 4 lines he digs at Lesbia, calling her a "wicked bitch", and indicates that no one will love her again as he does. There is a mixture of spite and desperate--seemingly being sarcastic to her but also saddened by the amount of love that he has devoted to her but in the end was not able to win her.

Catullus 11 seems to depict an even later stage than Catullus 8. Catullus has become more desperate. Probably too sad to address Lesbia directly, he asks his comrades, Furius and Aurelius, to search all corners of the Roman Empire, even the farthest regions, to find his girl and deliver her a message:

"Long may she live and flourish with her gallants,
embracing all three hundred in one session,
loving none truly, yet cracking each others' loins
over and over.

Let her no more, as once, look for my passion,
which through her fault lies fallen like some flower,
at the field's edge, after the passing ploughshare's 
cut a path through it."

In contrast to in Catullus 8 where he is playing strong and being sarcastic to Lesbia, he has totally given up on both her and himself here. He could do nothing but let her move on with all her other lovers and be sad. The best he could hope for is that she would love no one truly but crack all gallants' loins. There is a strong sense of bitterness and weakness. He could not bear the thought of Lesbia truly loving someone else after all his love, but cracking their loins--he wants those men to be as attracted to her as he is, which will only make them fall harder after being dumped. Finally he depicts a pathetic image where he is a flower at the field's edge, which is already humbled, and Lesbia, the cruel ploughshare with a higher status cuts through him and made it fall.