Blog Post 6: Lesbia and Catullus

                The relationship between Lesbia and Catullus is originally one of distant protective attraction, leaving Catullus in a very strong, confident position. However, as Catullus falls in love with Lesbia and battles with the fact that she is married, continuously seeking evidence that she does not love her husband or any of her other consorts but only him. It is this uncertainty throughout his sustained love for Lesbia that underlies the persona of ‘weak Catullus’. This progression is visible through poems 3, 83, and 92.

                In poem 3, Catullus and Lesbia are near the beginning of their affair. Lesbia is not spoken by name, but is described as “my sweetheart”. Based on Catullus’ affair with Lesbia, it is not unreasonable to infer that his “sweetheart” is Lesbia. In addition, not mentioning her by petname rather than name is an indicator that they are near the beginning of their relationship and Catullus is not yet so enthralled as to love her personally, by name. Nonetheless, that the image of “[his] sweetheart’s eyelids…sore and swollen red from all her weeping” sends Catullus into a fit of rage and “mourn”, and his invocation of “Cupids…[and] Venus” is an indication that he feels love for her. The weakness of crying over a “sparrow [lying] dead” is a classically feminine image, contrasted to Catullus’ strength in anger at the swallow, proclaiming, “Oh wicked deed! Oh wretched little sparrow! It’s your fault”. While he shows compassion for the life of the sparrow throughout the beginning and middle of the poem, these last three lines reveal that his true source of sorrow is Lesbia’s sadness, not the death of the sparrow, and his true emotion is disdain.

                In poem 83, Catullus and Lesbia are further along in their affair. Catullus is relatively strong, but we see his confidence begin to waver. In describing the way “Lesbia…insult[s] [Catullus] in her husband’s presence” as an indication that “she…remembers…[and] feels angry”, Catullus is attempting to convince himself that her outwardly negative nature is indicative of an internal conflict. There is a fine line between hate and love, typically elocuted as desire, or Eros. The concept of Eros -in Sappho’s sweetbitter terms- is present in the poem as well. Catullus feels the bitterness of Lesbia’s insults, but tries to convince himself that they have a true sweetness that she cares about him rather than “show[ing] healthy indifference”. Lesbia is also portrayed as feeling the sweetbitterness in their relationship. Bitterly, “she…feels angry…the lady burns”, a physical manifestation of the bitter feelings. This burn also points to the sweetness of what Lesbia “remembers” about her time with Catullus. Ultimately, the reader is without resolve as to whether or not Lesbia actually does feel love for Catullus, but clear that Catullus is only relatively confident in the idea that she does.

                Poem 92 is a continuation of the thought in poem 83, but even later. This time, Catullus displays clear signs of weakness and discomfort. It becomes clear to the reader that having Lesbia love him is a need for Catullus where he says, “Lesbia loves me, or I’ll be damned.” She is not simply a desire, she is what keeps him alive. At the same time, Catullus struggles with the elements of Eros in their relationship. Unlike in poem 83, Catullus now battles with his own duplicity of “praying nonstop to lose her” and “lov[ing] her still. Or [he’ll] be damned.” It is a need for him to love her but it is painful for him to continue to do so. This indecisiveness and lack of confidence is further punctuated by his inquiry: “What proves it?” Catullus is searching for proof, but his only answer is a thesis and its antithesis, without synthetic conclusion. Thus, he is unable to define for himself not only what Lesbia wants, but what he wants. His relationship with Lesbia has reached such a point that Catullus no longer has self-awareness and self-confidence, putting him in a position of weakness.